DUI satire compliments of The Onion

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Wallpaper DUI satire compliments of The Onion

Here's a priceless piece of vintage satire from the Onion: "DMV Reconsidering 'One For The Road' Driver Relaxation Campaign."

Here are a few choice excerpts from the 1997 tongue-in-cheek article:

SPRINGFIELD, IL—With the drunk-driving fatality rate nearly tripling in Illinois in the past year, the state's Department of Motor Vehicles announced Monday it will re-examine its controversial "One For The Road" driver-relaxation promotional campaign...

According to Penn, the One For The Road program had its roots in a DMV study revealing a positive correlation between alcohol consumption and driver confidence.

"We found that people who had consumed at least four beers or two mixed drinks before getting behind the wheel were twice as likely to believe they were in no danger of getting hurt or killed," Penn said. "When operating a serious piece of machinery like a car, that's just the kind of confidence you need."...

In the time since the September 1996 launch of One For The Road, some 2,300 DUI-related fatalities have occurred in Illinois, a 275 percent increase over the previous year.

"Perhaps we need to reconsider certain aspects of the program," said Bill Gerhardt, co-creator of the program. "We need to ask ourselves, 'What parts of this program are not working, and how can we fix them?'"...

While Illinois DUI laws aren't perfect, at least our legislators have a bit more common sense than the fictional characters in this article.

And, if you're so inclined, you can read the entire article here.

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